- one Siddiqui Danish who "don't want no short ramrod man"
- Fernando Norwood who admonishes me to "take it easy"
- Mama O. Unearths who urges -- shouts, actually -- "TURN AROUND DON'T DROWN"
- Mongolism Q. Indefinitely who can't quite bring himself to mention what he is offering in any kind of a subject line, but somehow I doubt it is something I want
- Olive Hurt (Hurt, Olive?) writing to accept my application
- McBride the Tale who wonders whether I know yet
- Lara Xiong who writes "of debbie on pooch" -- guess she's done Dallas.
- Elsie who enigmatically cites "condition"
and countless more, most of which have to do with the size of body parts that I don't have, prescriptions for medicines I don't need, and consolidation of debts that I don't have.
. . . .
Is it possible that there are people who actually open and read this stuff? The preponderance of it leads me to believe, sadly, that they not only do but then proceed to act on it. Perhaps they are all acquainted with Augustus Hoover, who cautions, "Don't be left behind!"