offensiveunpleasant or disgusting especially to the senses
There's been a fair amount of discussion on Facebook about Mr. Hegseth's decision to "unrecognize" 180 faiths from the Pentagon's list of religions (why the Pentagon even has a list of approved religions is beyond my understanding). This morning in a comment about this change, someone -- member of one of the now-unrecognized faiths -- wrote that in a crisis situation, s/he would prefer not to receive care from a Christian provider, adding "How abhorrent!"
I knew "abhorrent" wasn't good, but when I looked it up to better understand, I was surprised by just how not good it is.
When I worked as a hospital chaplain, my job was to provide care to patients and family members and staff, no matter what their faith was. Sure, I happened to be a Christian, a Lutheran Christian in fact, but most of my care receivers were of a different religion, or of no religion at all.
I remembered an afternoon when my beeper went off and I learned that a death had occurred and that the patient's daughter was still in his room. I hurried to the room and found her sitting quietly near the bed. I told her who I was and asked how I might be of help. She told me that she didn't really need anything. Her father's passing had been expected and, in fact, it was a blessing. She was Jewish and explained to me that according to her faith tradition, she needed to sit with her father's body until the funeral home people came to take it away. I asked if I might sit with her for a bit and she agreed.
We sat together for twenty or thirty minutes, not speaking. I imagined that she was thinking back over the years of her life with her father, remembering the good times and the things he had taught her. I, on the other hand, was struck by this lovely custom -- a time of quiet reflection between the death and all that comes after: the notifying, the planning, the visiting, the memorializing, the burying. When my beeper called me to another bedside, I thanked her for allowing me to sit with her and she thanked me for doing it.
It was a very simple instance of pastoral care and one of my most memorable.
I thought too, today, about my Jewish chaplain colleague who had been called to be with the family of a baby born too soon and how she had baptized this infant, an act of ministry not from her tradition, but from theirs, and how much the experience had meant to all of them.
It's interesting that what would be abhorrent to one person can be so meaningful to another.
Comments
Thank you for your ministry, Nancy.
Regarding hospital Chaplins, my father died in a large hospital and my mother and one of the kids/grandkids were with him 24/7. Various Chaplins stopped by to sit with us and were a great comfort through some very difficult weeks. It's a very high calling.
Ceci