Tinned Meat Product

I have a secondary email account that I check once a month or so. I discontinued its use because all at once it started to fill up with spam. My current provider must have a much better filter because I seldom receive unwanted email. Of course occasionally I don't receive something I should have received, but that is a complaint for another day.

. . . .

Today was once a month or so. It had been a long time and there were 199 messages, all but two of which were tinned meat product.

. . . .

I'm aware that most of it is computer generated; nonetheless, some of the names and subjects were amusing. I didn't open anything, but did take note that I'm privileged to receive mail from:

• one Siddiqui Danish who "don't want no short ramrod man"


• Fernando Norwood who admonishes me to "take it easy"


• Mama O. Unearths who urges -- shouts, actually -- "TURN AROUND DON'T DROWN"


• Mongolism Q. Indefinitely who can't quite bring himself to mention what he is offering in any kind of a subject line, but somehow I doubt it is something I want


• Olive Hurt (Hurt, Olive?) writing to accept my application


• McBride the Tale who wonders whether I know yet


• Lara Xiong who writes "of debbie on pooch" -- guess she's done Dallas.


• Elsie who enigmatically cites "condition"

and countless more, most of which have to do with the size of body parts that I don't have, prescriptions for medicines I don't need, and consolidation of debts that I don't have.

. . . .

Is it possible that there are people who actually open and read this stuff? The preponderance of it leads me to believe, sadly, that they not only do but then proceed to act on it. Perhaps they are all acquainted with Augustus Hoover, who cautions, "Don't be left behind!"