A Time to Be Born and . . .

. . . a time to die.

Lately I have been thankful to have the complexity of my current quilt project.

My husband's sister and her adult children all live about 1600 miles from Near Philadelphia. A year ago this month, she lost her husband of 60+ years. It was a hard way to start a new year. A couple of months later, Joe and our daughter flew to visit his sister, thinking that they could have a more meaningful visit then as opposed to trying to get there for the funeral, where there would be many other people to provide support. It turned out to be the right decision.

A few days before Christmas, not yet a month ago, we received a phone call from Joe's sister with more terrible news. Her daughter was gravely ill with a fast-moving, far-advanced, late-diagnosed cancer. Joe has a close and easy relationship with his sister's older son, who was the rock for his mother last January and now back in this role for his mother, again, and for his sick sister's sons. There have been many family phone calls in the past three weeks. 

Yesterday morning I received another telephone call, this one from the daughter of a woman I had met and become friends with in 1959. After high school and a couple of years of commuting together to our jobs in downtown Philadelphia, the circumstances of our lives determined that we'd never be geographically close again. We managed with telephone calls and occasional visits and while our connection weakened and ultimately pretty much dissolved, the affection remained. The daughter, whom I call Dibble for no particular reason other than I'm inordinately fond of her despite having only met her a handful of times, told me that my old friend was very, very ill with what sounded like the same cancer as Joe's niece; in addition, there is some dementia and a handful of other issues. In a time of lucidity, it seems she had remembered me and the many good times we had had together and wondered if we could talk again. I was moved to tears, and had to end our call. Later in the day I texted Dibble to ask her to arrange a video call the next time she is at her mother's.

Last evening came another call from Joe's nephew. The sick woman wanted to speak with him, and so that happened. There were some end-of-life decisions to be made and, knowing of my background in hospital chaplaincy, he asked me to help him to form a basis for the family to make those decisions. Joe and I had been feeling helpless, so far away from all that was going on; it was good to be able to be of some real help as they struggle. 

So, you see, there's been a lot going on, all of it difficult and very much on our minds. I've been glad to have piecing my diamond blocks as a distraction. There's no good news anticipated on either front, and that is hard. So I'm holding my husband's family in the Light, looking forward to one more "visit" with my old friend, and piecing diamond blocks, the more complicated the better right now.