Epiphany in Advent

 

I am a supporter of a woman's right to choose. Whether an unexpected expectancy is the result of rape, incest, carelessness, ignorance, or passion, I don't think that any woman should have to bear a child that she is not ready to raise. I don't go to marches, but my politics and my voting record are reflective of where a candidate stands on this issue.

A woman's right to choose. She has the right to choose to end a pregnancy.

I sit on a committee at my church which is widely believed to be the best committee ever. Our job is to distribute some of the interest gained through the church investments via a program where people write a grant called "faith in action" wherein they propose ways to make things better -- for members of the congregation, the community, and beyond.  Recently we received an application from a non-profit located right in Near Philadelphia, a non-profit that cares for single pregnant women. They wanted money to provide counseling services for their clients. That sounded good, but privately I worried. I knew nothing about them and what if their purpose was to "explain" alternatives for a pregnant woman, carefully pointing out that if she were to have an abortion she was headed straight to hell, hand basket optional. We decided to give the agency a portion of the money they requested and to look into what they were about with a possible plan of establishing a relationship. I volunteered to investigate.

My meeting with the director was enlightening. The agency owns three three-bedroom houses, side by side by side approximately a block East of our church. The ladies are welcome to stay for about a year. They have a roof over their heads, cribs for their babies, beds for themselves. They share homemaking chores, are required to work or go to school 30 hours per week (with two months off at the time of delivery), and they attend a mandatory group meeting once a week where topics including parenting, financial planning, and other relevant issues are presented. They receive help in applying for WIC, SNAP, and other benefits; they are helped with transportation to job interviews. There's also a resource room that's open not just to the residents, but to anyone in the community who needs baby clothing, equipment, and diapers. The director explained all of this and it sounded wonderful. She asked what questions I had and I began with a couple of innocuous ones, and then moved on to the biggie, but not mentioning the hand basket. 

It turns out that this agency doesn't explain alternatives or put an uncertain woman on a guilt-or-terror trip. The women that they serve come to them already having decided to birth and raise their babies. 

So, I'm a believer and supporter of a woman's right to choose. No change in that. But I'm newly aware that  becoming a single mother is a very brave choice for a young woman to make, signing up for eighteen years of putting someone else first, and doing this with no partner at the time she makes this decision. Surely this woman would benefit from any support she can be given.

My epiphany in Advent.

So I wrote a small check, told the director about the church's food pantry, and started making arrangements for her to come and give a presentation to my Circle. I've spoken with the leader of a group that makes charity quilts and thought about how a wagon would make the food pantry visits more doable (practically none of the women have vehicles). I've reported back to the committee that I've vetted this agency and found them to be not only ethical but downright spectacular.

This afternoon I received a message from the pastor. It turns out that we need a mother and baby for the early service on Christmas Eve and did I think it would be all right if he contacted the agency to see if someone there might oblige. I did.