Looking for a Way Out OR What Were They Thinking?

One of the parts of my job that is usually very time-consuming but sometimes a lot of fun is receiving, logging, and acknowledging resumes that arrive in response to advertisements that I've run. Sometimes I get literally a hundred or more resumes, some from people who are very well-qualified. And then there are the others.

. . . .

The others always make me think of the time that Joe, who has a small architecture practice here in town, ran an ad for a draftsman. This was many years ago, before I was in the resume-receiving position, and I offered to help him screen them. He warned me that there would be many that would be inappropriate. Boy, was he right! The best was the one from the guy who sold hotdogs in Buffalo. He said he didn't have experience as a draftsman, but could probably learn. When I wondered aloud why a hotdog seller in Buffalo would apply to be a draftsman in Philadelphia, Sherry replied, "Mom, he's looking for a Way Out."

. . . .

There apparently are many people looking for a way out. The ad I ran yesterday was for a secretary for our lower school (Pre-K through grade 5) office. One man who responded has been working for four years in the fur vault at Bloomingdales. Clearly, he is looking for a way out. Another desperate soul has spent the past four years working as a bartender; prior to that he functioned as a waiter, valet, and caddy. I wanted to picture him having been employed at a wonderful manor house somewhere in England, in an "Upstairs, Downstairs" kind of setting. But I suspect that is far from the case. He did admit to having spent one summer working for the U.S. Government as an "enumerator." I was puzzled by that until I saw that it had been the summer of 2000, so apparently he was a census-taker. I don't think we'll interview this guy, despite the need to keep accurate count of our students. Although his facility as a mixologist might come in handy in the case of worked-up parents.

. . . .

The newspaper where I ran my ad makes it too easy for people to send in resumes and too hard to receive and sort them. They can do it directly on line, so it doesn't even cost them a stamp. Surely Mr. Fur Vault wouldn't have invested thirty-nine cents in applying to be a school secretary, would he?

. . . .

The other point I want to touch on here has to do with "What Were They Thinking?" It's about their e-mail addresses. Don't they realize that some of their personal addys are all wrong for a serious job hunt? Do tigerbarbara@ . . . . and cutietasha@ . . . . believe the persona they are presenting would be the sort we'd want to run an office where 4-year-olds come in for band-aids when the nurse is at lunch? Why would they not consider getting an alternate, grown-up and non-suggestive email address at a free place like yahoo? (You notice I didn't suggest Hotmail.)

. . . .

Here's a list of some of the more amazing addresses in today's mail, people who are hoping my school will employ them. I've omitted the final portion to protect whatever is left of their privacy:

• luvzmusicluvz2dance@ . . . .
• angelface51801@. . . .
• twhandsomeguy@ . . . .
• mamasita1114@ . . . .
• poohfan1981@. . . .

and my personal favorite of the day: loveztosin@. . . .

. . . .

He makes me wish I'd hear from the weiner vendor.