Moo Times Two

My sweet neighbor and I were talking a few weeks ago about the changes in the neighborhood. There seemed to be a lot of good things going on: The Lieutenant across the street returned safely from Afghanistan and he and his wife have a new baby; a cute young couple moved in and they are expecting; another new couple with a schnauzer ("Lucy! Lucy!") bought the house in the back, another neighbor is getting ready for a well-deserved retirement. Lots of good things. It's not a neighborhood where there is a real neighborhood feel, if you know what I mean. People are pleasant to each other but there isn't a whole lot of intra-neighborhood visiting. So Andrea and I thought it might be nice to try to do something about that. We scheduled an Event. We sent out flyers to the people that we know or would like to know. (We didn't send a flyer to the Nonspeakers; they wouldn't add much to any gathering.) If everyone we invited came, we'd have 26 adults. And a few kids. The flyer said something like "bring an appetizer or a dessert and join us for a neighborhood celebration" and listed some of the good things. An email and a telephone number were given for reply.

We are now at Event Minus Four and precisely four of the twenty-six  have had the courtesy to reply. Fortunately they are all coming and bringing cheese and brownies, even. But what the heck is wrong with the other twenty-two? Have they never planned a gathering and needed to know how many chairs to set out? The propensity to ignore a r.s.v.p. is widespread. And today I'm really, I mean really, feeling it. Moo!

Oh, and guess who I heard from the other day? Out of the blue? The school where I used to be employed. The school where I worked faithfully for sixteen years before being told my services were no longer needed. That one. 

A piece of mail from the Development Office. They thought I might want to follow the school on Facebook (no, thank you) or Linked In (don't even use it). They thought I might want to come and visit (again, no).

And they thought I might want to contribute to the Annual Fund or perhaps leave a Legacy Gift in my will. How very, very crass; how unspeakably insensitive.


Quiltdivajulie said…
I have worked in the development office of a private college - the way to stop that mail forever is to call and ask them to code your records DNS (do not solicit). You should not NEED to do this, but it should STOP any further mailings.

As far as RSVPs, don't get me started!

Nicole said…
Not rsvp-ing is one of my pet peeves as well. So thoughtless. Do people not know what it means? Just don't care is my guess.
Pat said…
The school? Big brass ones. Perhaps you should follow them on FB, if only for long enough to post a link to this blog.

RSVPs? I used to follow some conversation threads on a food-centric site Lots of food stuff, but also lots of posts discussing things like guest/host etiquette, including the sad state of the RSVP. The pet peeves ranged for not getting a reply, but then showing up anyway, to showing up with tag-a-longs (uninvited guests), to holding out to see which better offer turns up, to - well you get the idea. The bottom line is that manners are not taught. Bad parenting, I say. And inconsiderate behavior.
Regarding Pat's comment - those must be the same parents that did not teach their children how to write thank you notes! I recently discovered that a great number of folks honestly have no idea that "regrets only" and "RSVP" are not the same thing.
Karla said…
Nancy, with all the cows and mooing, I just had to post a link that always makes me laugh.

I think that may help lighten your mind. Ignore the insensitive, the rude and just have fun!

Janet O. said…
I have decided that those who choose to ignore the RSVP have never taken on the responsibility of hosting an event themselves. They are clueless as to the stress this places on those trying to make sure there is enough to go around.
Moo on, Nancy! I'm right there with ya!
Mrs. Goodneedle said…
Count me in with the herd, MOO!
somebody with brass probably thought it was worth a try....
Barbara Anne said…
Good grief! The nerve or lack of caring from the person at the school is astonishing - and not in a good way. What on earth were they thinking???????? Moo, indeed!

Yes, the fact of lack of what used to be common courtesy is also unpleasantly astonishing these days. Moo about this, too. My mother taught me how to act and react but perhaps not everyone got those lessons. Will you leave notes on those 22 doors to ask for a phone RSVP?

I hope the neighborhood party is fun and I applaud the idea you and Andrea had!

Of course, if the non-RSVPing folks show up you can always say that since you did not get the RSVPs you couldn't read minds on who was coming so you made only enough of the entree for those who DID reply. Sorry.

It is sad, but I have stopped making gifts (read knitted items or quilts here) for family members because it is obvious that they have broken hands when it comes to thank you note. There are only a couple of them that receive items.

Moo on.
LizA. said…
Moo is right! There is an app called Paper Karma. You sign up, then take pictures of the junk mail you no longer want to receive and Paper Karma does all the work! I've had great luck with it.
Irene said…
This seems to happen all the time and there is absolutely no excuse for it. Speaking of thank you notes, I gifted two baby quilts this summer and I didn't receive a thank you for either one. I'm mooing right along with you.
Tanya said…
That ol' school probably has all their mail sent out by machine and they have no idea who it going to. I guess I'd ask to be taken off their mailing list too... They are the ones losing money sending out unwanted mail.

Hope you had a better turn out at your neighborhood event. I doubt we could get the neighbors together... most of them don't even come to the "required" homeowners meetings.
suz said…
sadly too many people don't understand RSVPs. They are also the ones that never bother to have their kids send thank you cards. I recently sent my great-niece $50 for her birthday - not a word! I am shocked that that school contacted you for MONEY!!!! are you serious!
AnnieO said…
Rsvp-ing is a lost art. But bad taste seems to be in, so your old employer is right on trend! I hope quiltdivajulie is correct with her advice. I have a lot of DNSing to do!