Quilts for Friends We Haven't Met Yet
The turmoil came from a post about a television show where apparently a quilter/hoarder was publicly humiliated into pruning her considerable stash. I did not see the show (I was busy sewing at the time, I suppose), nor did I see the initial post that caused the flap (and I do not use the term "flap" with any disrespect). So I'm coming into this as a real outsider.
The problem, as I understand it, is that quilts made for Quilts of Valor were referred to as "charity quilts" and, as such, carried an inference -- for some people -- of shoddy workmanship and/or inferior quality fabric. I didn't quite get it.
I make quilts to give to people I know and quilts to keep. I also sometimes make quilts to give away to people that I do not know, people who have had some sort of life-altering event and could use a little extra comfort. I think of those quilts as charity quilts, to differentiate from those I give to people I know. I use the same quality of fabric and degree of care in my work for all of my quilts. I wrote to a friend who was among the incensed and asked for clarification. I asked her, "What language would you suggest for quilts that are given away to needy individuals, to people we don't know, or to special causes? Charity means kindness, love, that kind of thing, doesn't it? When I hear "charity quilt" I don't assume inferior workmanship and cheap fabric. I think it is a quilt made for an unknown recipient out of love."
She wasn't offended, took my question seriously, and wrote back,
I think your understanding of the word is what I wish it was in the world, but I am afraid is not.
"Taking charity" is, I think, seen as something to be avoided -- especially by those trying to maintain their personal pride and dignity. IMO, "charity" is often seen as the transfer of unwanted/inferior/used goods from the "haves" to the "havenots", rather than as the synonym for "love" that Corinthians (?) would have us understand it.
By extension, though I do not know this personally, I suspect that "charity quilts" have been characterized in the quilting world as somehow inferior in quality of fabric or workmanship, therefore creating the desire to distinguish QOV from those run-of-the-mill quilts.
Perhaps, like "Quilts of Valor", other such quilts could be called "Quilts of Caring" or "Quilts of Love"?
By extension, though I do not know this personally, I suspect that "charity quilts" have been characterized in the quilting world as somehow inferior in quality of fabric or workmanship, therefore creating the desire to distinguish QOV from those run-of-the-mill quilts.
Perhaps, like "Quilts of Valor", other such quilts could be called "Quilts of Caring" or "Quilts of Love"?
She's right, of course. But isn't it a shame that such a fine word has morphed into something so shabby?
Comments
You are right, though. It is unfortunate that charity has taken on the meaning of "not good enough for me personally, but good enough for you". I much prefer the terms your friend suggests such as "Quilts of Love", or Quilts of Caring". Even "quilts for no apparent reason". If it has a piece of your heart in it, it is a worthy gift.
That same word “charity” got into a brouhaha here in our homeowners’ assoc when one board member suggested a name for a program we were putting together to help financially those in our development who need it. Another board member was so upset by the use of the word that it wound up as a lawsuit in civil court. All ended ok, but a lesson was learned about “Loaded words”.
When you're down on your luck, dignity and respect from fellow human beings is all the more important. Someone on a quilt list who had experienced life on the streets stressed this and I took it to heart.
Love the blog, Nancy and your thoughtful approach to life.
No need to acknowledge. .Mary
PS I saw a clip from Enough Already on the OWN site.
Happy Sewing
Unfortunately, I have also seen donated quilts that were poorly made, downright ugly, or so small as to be useless. That is a reflection of the maker. Changing the name won't change the quality of the work they choose to produce.
Which is too bad, because as you said, the roots pf the word are beautiful. It come from the latin "caritas" which originally meant "preciousness, dearness, high price." Far from the "castoffs from the rich" meaning it's come to have. I believe there are also places in Bible translations where it has been used interchangeably with "love," right? (Hasn't 1 Cor 13:13 sometimes been translated ast "faith, hope and charity"?)
(edited comment. stay tuned for more info.) :-)