A Chapter Concluded

Today was to have been my last day at the school. But my available supply of poise ran out sometime yesterday. So last night Honna and I went over and took my quilts and photos off the walls and left some notes that I had prepared and quietly fled. I imagine there were people wanting to wish me well today and that they will be disappointed to find me gone. This time, though, I opted for what I need, instead of what they need. Today holds a long-delayed lunch with my sister, a new library book (how appropriate is that!), and the Dresden Plates on my design wall.

Thirteen years come to an end. Not of my choosing. And it has been difficult to have others make a major life decision for me (though I realize that this happens to people all the time, if not others making the decision, then illness or circumstance). That has been hard, as has been the feeling of rejection, even though intellectually I am well aware of the reasoning behind the decision.

I wrote earlier that it is cruel and unusual to tell someone that the job has ended but the person should stay on for another five months. This happens to teachers all the time. Fortunately, I didn't have the well-being of fifteen first-graders or 4 sections of physics students to attend to, and I was free to seek something else and be done before five months elapsed. I lasted half that time and will continue to hold in the Light (yup, that Quakerspeak has become a piece of me) my fellow dismissees, including one in another setting.

There's a brief interim period before the next chapter begins and while I am eager to know what it will bring, I need the time to put the past one to rest. Friends, family, reading, organizing, quilting (well, d'uh!) and perhaps even a day in Cape May . . . . and before I know it, I'll be turning the page.