The Widow Maker

I feel as though I am ready to move forward.

Joe is being responsible about attending the thrice-weekly cardiac rehab work-out sessions. The medicines are becoming automatic. The food is more than manageable -- it is actually kind of fun to be learning to cook all over again. And he's resigned from the Church Council, the huge stress-bringer.

But I'm not myself. I get panicky when I can't find something. And yesterday at Sherry's I dropped and broke another dish full of food. My concentration is lacking; I'm trying to read a book at night but honestly can't tell you much about it. I make an inordinate amount of lists of work and home tasks. I do an awful lot of frogstitching when I sew.

I try to remind myself of Guenveur's counsel: One Little Move At A Time. It is sound advice.

When Joe was in hospital, a couple of people from the ER team came up to see how he was doing. One of them told him, "What you had is what we call 'the widow-maker,'" reminding him how fortunate he/we had been.

Joe had what Tim Russert had.

And that is what I think of when I wake during the night and reach out to touch him. That is what I think when I find him napping at a peculiar time. That is what I think when he is too quiet. The widow-maker.


LoieJ said…
I've been following your story for the past month or so, but not having enough computer time, due to many family commitments away from home, to comment. May God Bless you both in this new journey.

Three times/day = Sit comfortably, breath in deeply for a count of four, hold it for a count of seven, breath out slowly through your mouth for a count of at least 10.
Nanette Merrill said…
You've had quite the life shake up Nancy. Be kind to yourself and realize you need some recovering too!
Juliann in WA said…
I would guess that on the list of things that can throw you for a loop, what you and Joe have been through it at the top so be as gentle with yourself as you are with him. The breathing advise above is great too. Maybe a book on tape that you could listen to while you stitch something? And prayers, prayers, prayers.
Shelina said…
That is a pretty gift you received.

Wow I can see how you would be constantly worried after being told about Widow Maker. I wish you and Joe the best of health. {{Hugs}}
Unknown said…
Time to concentrate on you Nancy - you've coped with the emergency times (thank goodness for that aspirin), you've guided the pair of you through the initial learning curve by ushering in all the lifestyle changes the pair of you have needed to make, now your own capacity for coping has passed these tests your body and soul are on the climb back down from high adrenaline stakes and all these reactions are a result of that. Take the opportunity to cosset yourself now and be gentle on yourself. (((Hugs)))
Mrs. Goodneedle said…
Breathing. What sound advice, one breath at a time; small movements. Take your sweet time with yourself. Sending you hugs for healing during this fragile time in your life/ I'm praying for patience and peace.
SallyB said…
I would advise both of you to take up T'a Chi. It is a great stress reducer and has many medical benefits. I've been studying for nearly 6 years and been teaching it for about 4½ of that. Part of learning T'ai Chi is learning Qi Gong breathing, which reduces stress, oxygenates the blood, moves the "chi" energy around and generally promotes feelings of well being. Try it, you'll like it, and believe me, once you get into it, you'll want to make a lifetime discipline of it.
Anonymous said…
I wish I could give you a hug it isn't just nothing that happend to your husband but also to you and your entire family. These kind of things tent to have an impact on everybody surounding the patient.
... though I can't give you a hug - I live on the other side of the world.... - I can give you a virtual hug...
""" squeeze squeeze squeeze """
( consider yourself huged by a dutch girl )
blog you soon
Winda aka Dutch Quilter